Personal Space

One of the biggest changes I have had to adapt to is the lack of personal space when in public here. I am sure there are those of you that scoff and call me names because of it, but in general if I don't know you I don't want to touch you. Unfortunately for me I end up in a bus or train or tube, or something on a nearly daily basis that I end up doing way more rubbing or bumping or whatever than I really want to. But today....oh lord, today....I was about as close to an aneurysm or my eye popping out of my head as I have ever been.

Once I finally got to Reading I got in line for the bus out to work. There were already 20 or so people waiting so I knew it was going to be too close for comfort. Luckily I have devised a number of secret weapons to combat the over crowding. No I don't mean have a conversation with myself about aliens or scratch my butt constantly so nobody sits by me, but other more civil ways or not getting squeezed like oh so many oranges.

1. Find the smallest woman and sit next to her. Yes it may be an old lady but talking about coupons is way better than someone's backpack continually hitting you in the crotch.

2. Sit in the special seats for strollers and pray that none show up. My favourite seats in the bus face inward and are great for me since they allow more leg room. All the normal seats I don't fit in due to my ridiculous femurs. If I sit there I end up having to point my legs one way or the other and end up being that guy that is doing all the rubbing up on people, or get my knees smashed by everyone that walks by.

Ok so today I went for the special seats and was butted up next to the wheel well on one side so was constricted to some extent. Everyone piled on the bus and it seemed like I wasn't the only one who had devised strategies for the best seats. Unfortunately for me they guy who spotted the seat next to me must have had a plan as well. He skipped all the open seats in the back of the bus and made a bee line right for me. I will apologize now if anyone takes offense to the next part but its important for the story. So he plops down and he is HUGE! I mean like NFL lineman size. And I swear he must have had bad circulation and no feeling in his extremities because he was literally on me. I had no where to go, couldn't stand up because the bus had filled up, and had the wheel well on the other side.

I kept trying to slide away but I think I was supporting the weight of his arm and thigh it seemed like if I moved just more of him would slide over and take its place.

To make matters worse we go round like 10 roundabouts on the way to the office, and the shocks on the bus are complete crap. It was full on torture. One of the guys I work with was standing two feet away just laughing.

He told me afterwards that when the guy initially sat down I looked like someone had punched me in the stomach, and as the ride went on he could see me getting redder and redder as I got more and more angry.

I am not quite sure if this is a story of tolerance or intolerance, but for him it was pure comedy. Gotta love public transportation. I am buying an a giant van when we move home and never letting anyone ride in it. Just me and my personal space.